Backpacking-Month

This month, I went to many places: Lembang, Parung-Bogor, Jakarta, Jogjakarta, Surabaya, and Pandaan. I called it a Backpacking-month! :D

I spent new year’s eve in Lembang, there was children class for 3 nights there. A week later, I went to Parung-Bogor to have an Early Warning System training for 2 days. It was totally a pleasure to meet new people and get new knowledge. Then I went to Jakarta to welcome my parents and spend 2 days with them there. They follow me to go to Bandung on the next day. They stayed for one day to continue their trip to Jogjakarta. I follow them 2 days later. One day after I reached Jogjakarta, me and my whole family went to Surabaya and continue to Pandaan.

Pandaan is the village where my father was born in. The last time I visited was 10 years ago, when I was still in junior high school. It was very very long time I haven’t met my cousins there. They have had babies, while I still dont have any. It was a very quiet village. There was no activity after 8 o’clock. Or you can say that there was nothing you can do after 8 o’clock. Everybody was at home or went sleeping. Most of the people are farmers. That’s why they don’t have to do anything else at night.

I spent 3 nights in the village. Then with my family, I went back to Surabaya. We spent one night at the house of one relative there. At night, with two motorcycle, me and my brother, my mom and my cousin went through Suramadu bridge. It is the longest bridge in Indonesia. Yes it was very long and far. But not too long if we counted the time we need to go through it. Maybe only a half hour to go and back.

After spending one night in Surabaya, we went back to Jogjakarta. I spent maybe 5 nights there, but not enough time for me even to go to Malioboro to buy some souvenirs for friends. As long as I stayed in Jogja, I accompanied my mom visiting her old friends who have already got retired. They shared their experience after no longer working for the company where my father is still working in now. And my conclusion, retirement is something we don’t need to be afraid of. They could enjoy the moment and have much time to do whatever they wanna do. It all depends on us how to face the day. Interesting.

What is again interesting about Jogja is about religious tolerance. When the prayer time was come, the mosque only produce a voice for adzan. In Bandung, or more extreme in Bogor, I found that in prayer time, especially at dawn, mosques are noisy with voices of people who read Koran. It could be worse if the voice is so much bad, not as good as singer’s. It could be disturbing for non-moslem. They have right to sleep nicely and calmly without any disturbing voice. We need to be tolerance with others because we’re not living alone. We’re living with non-moslem too. And Islam is about peace, not about force.

In The Last Month

Just remember that I have an English blog I rarely to visit. Got no reading to enrich myself, it made me think that I could share nothing. :D

Bandung is attacked by uncertainty. Sometimes it’s raining a whole day, like today. Sometimes it’s getting hot like yesterday. Having plan to go outside maybe is the hardest thing at this moment. And in my case, I shouldn’t have one. I should stay at home and think for nothing unless my thesis. Even to enjoy any game on my netbook, I shouldn’t dare to. I know I won’t enjoy it. Thesis is now running on my mind and doesn’t let anything to remove him. But not anyone. ;)

Many things changed in a month. Especially in my friendship. My relationship with one close friend is not as close as before. Actually I just told her to not live with me again since I need to be alone to get focus on thesis. I know it was painful but I need to say what I felt and what I needed to her. I still try to keep good relationship and communication with her. Time will heal, I hope.

About love life, I find it much better. Slowly but sure, my relationship with my man is getting stronger. He is not only my lover, but also my best friend. We have a very good communication in every situation, good and bad. This is a strong base of our relationship. And I hope it keep stronger everyday.

That’s all I wanna share today. Good day, everyone! ^^

Ya Rabb..

He deserves for all happiness.. I wish You let me be one of..

I am Precious

I’d never thought that all I need was only a confession of how precious I am for someone. And when I got that, I knew that I deserved for all happiness. I didn’t need wealthy, I didn’t need obsession to see around the world just to find the inner happiness which I can find in me, through a confession of someone who even said my name in his special prayer. It means alot for me. Even until now, days after his confession.

I don’t know where this story will end. But for the first time in my life, I deliver a same prayer as what my family want me to, that this story will have a happy ending.

I don’t know more about him yet. It doesn’t matter for me cause I will find out more when I marry him someday if this story end happily. And I don’t know why but I just believe that he’s such a good man. And amazingly, my parents love him.

He’s not wealthy, he’s not from somewhere outside Indonesia, he’s not tall or blonde. He’s just the way he is: Indonesian, a devoted man, insya Allah.

Above of all: he accepts me the way I am, he prays and says my name in his prayer. This is what makes me believe that I am that precious, that Allah really keep a gift special for me. And I hope it is him.

Spending Almost Two Months in My Hometown

Myself started to change lately. Especially my mindset. I don’t understand why but maybe it happens because here, I feel the comfortness. Everything run slowly, everything is simple.

The art of doing nothing, as what was written in Eat Pray Love, is something I enjoy the most. Dangerously, I even enjoy the art of thinking nothing. I feel the slowdown of thinking, of self-quality, especially which is related to quality of my brain.

I was then thinking that I can’t spend more time here. I will have limited thinking. Why? Because I totally have no thinking about my future at all! Seriously! Social life really influence our way of thinking.

When I was in Bandung, especially when I was with Abby, I have clear vision of my future. What I really wanna do in advance, my future plan,  my to-do list for next. But being here, I could even think that what I got is what I deserve for. I don’t even remember of my obsession to traveling, to see the world, to explore the mystery inside it. And this is an alert!

I do not refuse an idea to be a person who can easily receive whatever is given. But if it runs for long time, I’m afraid I will be a human with limited thinking. Here, I don’t have any friend who can fill me in talking about future. Future for everyone in my hometown is clear and simple: work (or to get money), get married, have children, being at home peacefully. An idea of traveling around the world seems utopian even to be just opened in informal conversation with friends in living room.

Meanwhile, as for me, world keeps billions of mysteries and secrets that even cannot be explored even until we leave this world. And I pleasedly want to get involved, take part of the exploration, in every second of my life, eventhough I could only find a little bit of it.

And finally, even to keep my obsession to see the world which was very easy when I was in Bandung, I need to fight it out to keep it alive while I am in Bontang. I do not underestimate Bontang. It is only mindset difference matter. I don’t consider it as wrong or shallow. I just feel that it doesnt suit me. I dont want to stay any longer here. At the moment.

Reversal of Fortune

I’ve just watched an old movie lately. Reversal of Fortune. When I read the title, I thought that it wouldn’t be interesting. But I was totally wrong. It was a fascinating movie indeed.

What was most interesting about this movie was the storyline. It was strong and interesting. You can read the synopsis here.

And amazingly it did happen in real life! It was fascinating to know how a dedicated lawyer like Alan was struggling with law and people’s opinion about his ‘special’ client.

First impression was when Alan explained to one of his students why he took this case. And this is his reason:

 

Minnie: Yeah, okay, so, someone’s got to defend Claus. But why you, why us? 
Alan Dershowitz: Look, you’re my student, you, you have a choice. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do; that is your choice. The reason *I* take cases – and here I’m unlike most other lawyers, who are not professors and therefore have to make a living – I take cases because I get pissed off. And I am pissed off here. The family hired a private prosecutor: unacceptable! They conducted a private search! Now if we let them get away with that, rich people won’t go to the cops any more. You know what they’re going to do? They’re going to get their own lawyers to collect evidence – and then they are going to choose which evidence they feel like passing on to the DA. And the next victim isn’t going to be rich, like von Bülow – but it’s going to be some poor schnook in Detroit who can’t afford, or who can’t find, a decent lawyer.

 

Words! Love this conversation! And this is what makes this movie interesting! :) I give you the trailer link on youtube. Enjoy! ^_^

*picture taken from here.

My Dream Workspace

 

As what is said on the website, this is also my dream workspace. Relaxing and comfortable..

 

*picture taken from here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Most Comfortable and Effective Style for Study or Work

I remember that since I was kid, I don’t like to study by sitting on the chair in front of a desk. I ‘d never felt excited everytime my dad bought me a new desk for me so I would be easier and comfortable to study.  What I would like was sitting on the floor and using small desk. I thought it would be free for me to study without limitations offered by chair in front of a desk. I need years later, after leaving my hometown, to pick freely my own style for study, sitting on the floor with a short-legged desk.

But later, I also need years to realize that the most comfortable and effective style for study (or work) is sitting on the chair in front of the desk. I am just aware of this after I spent hours in front of notebook by sitting on the floor. I just realize that this kind of style for study or work is far from comfortness and effectiveness. Especially if you should study or work for hours!

In the future, there are many tasks I should complete by using notebook for hours. There is at-least-15-pages mini research which I should submit on next Wednesday. Also, I owe chapter-reports for two lectures: Psycholinguistics and Applied Linguistics. Wish me luck! :D

I have decided that when I spend 2 months-vacation in Bontang started on July, I would ask my dad to give up his desk for me to use. Heuheu. I’m planning to write a journal during my vacation in Bontang. Two-months-vacation should be spent by producing something. At least I could produce one journal which is one of requirements I need for submitting my thesis and I could leave campus as a Master of Humaniora. Aamiin! Keep fighting, Comrades! :D

*pictures taken from gettyimages.com

God Did Answer My Prayer

May 10, 2009, I got one happiness when the man whom I consider as my best friend, said he wished to marry me. We planned everything: wedding, dress, future children, future life. Everything. Since he lived in different country, I planned and took care everything I needed to prepare for the wedding.

Day by day, month by month, the happiness I felt vanished slowly but sure. Problems came without any pity to the couple who was in love and wished to get each other soon. My fiancee and I then started thinking that maybe God planned another better way for us, but it was not through our marriage. Then we prayed, asking Him for our future.

May 10, 2010, he finally told me to not wait for him any longer. He said he had tried hard to come and get me, but he felt everything was useless. He felt that the universe no longer stood behind him and supported him. He didn’t want me to wait for nothing. He asked me to seek another better man of my life.

I knew this would finally come. I felt it before its coming. But still, it stabbed me deeply. I fell down to the lowest point of my life. I felt useless, depressed, moreover worthless. Life was no longer beautiful and lovely. No. Everything was dark, everything was mean.

Then came the big news from him. His mother had finally found another wife for him. All I could do was in silent and cried, again. It buried me more and more deeply.

For months, even weeks after his wedding, I still kept my special feeling to him in my deepest sea of heart. I prayed, alot, asking God to help me, take me away from this dark side of earth I was living. But it needed a long time for Him to answer my pray.

Until today, I knew God did answer my pray.

Last week I had a conversation with him on Facebook. He asked me everything, gave me the news that he would have a honeymoon with his wife. As usual, I couldn’t help myself to not crying. After the conversation was disconnected, I cried, alot, sinking down my head into the pillow. I whispered my pray, “God, please take away this feeling. I can’t help it anymore. Please take away this hurt feeling. I beg you, God.. please…”

And today, when he asked me to chat again, I felt the freedom. I saw him as a friend, not a lover anymore. He still remains as my best friend, but more than that, I feel no more pain everytime I remember him. Yes, God did answer my pray. He, the author of love, the one who gave me love once to my best friend, has taken the love back from me. I did cry when I realize this. But this is a cry of relieving, a cry for a freedom, a cry for thanking God, a cry for realizing God’s endless love for me.

I am now back to the belief that one day, I can find another better love, in another better person, through another better way.

Would You Permit Me?

In a country where thinkers are assassinated, and writers are considered infidels and books are burnt, in societies that refuse the other, and force silence on mouths and thoughts forbidden, and to question is a sin, I must beg your pardon, would you permit me?

Would you permit me to bring up my children as I want, and not to dictate on me your whims and orders?

Would you permit me to teach my children that the religion is first to God, and not for religious leaders or scholars or people?

Would you permit me to teach my little one that religion is about good manners, good behavior, good conduct, honesty and truthfulness, before I teach her with which foot to enter the bathroom or with which hand she should eat?

Would you permit me to teach my daughter that God is about love, and she can dialogue with Him and ask Him anything she wants, far away from the teachings of anyone?

Would you permit me not to mention the torture of the grave to my children, who do not know about death yet?

Would you permit me to teach my daughter the tenets of the religion and its culture and manners, before I force on her the ‘Hijab’ (the veil)?

Would you permit me to tell my young son that hurting people and degrading them because of their nationality, color or religion, is considered a big sin by God?

Would you permit me to tell my daughter that revising her homework and paying attention to her learning is considered by God as more useful and important than learning by heart Ayats from the Quran without knowing their meaning?

Would you permit me to teach my son that following the footsteps of the Honorable Prophet begins with his honesty, loyalty and truthfulness, before his beard or how short his robe (long shirt/dress) is?

Would you permit me to tell my daughter that her Christian friend is not an infidel, and ask her not to cry fearing her friend will go to Hell?

Would you permit me to argue, that God did not authorize anyone on earth after the Prophet to speak in his name nor did he vest any powers in anyone to issue ‘deeds of forgiveness’ to people?

Would you permit me to say, that God has forbidden killing the human spirit, and who kills wrongly a human being is as if he killed all human kind, and no Moslem has the right to frighten another Moslem?

Would you permit me to teach my children that God is greater, more just, and more merciful than all the (religious) scholars on earth combined? And that his standards are different from the standards of those trading the religion, and that his accountability is kinder and more merciful?

Would you permit me?

Nizar Kabbani
A Syrian Poet, Diplomat, Writer & Publisher
1923-1998

http://www.kidvai.blogspot.com/2011/01/would-you-permit-me.html

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